Hello My Little Monsters.

Surprise Surprise, I’m doing a CD review of Lady Gaga’s new extended version of The Fame, called The Fame Monster.

The Fame Monster, which is an extended version of Gaga’s original The Fame, still contains the singles Poker Face, Paparazzi, and Just Dance, but also brings new hits such as Bad Romance and Alejandro.

These new songs (8 in total), are not another direction for Gaga but another level. They perfectly compliment the original album and add more brilliance to what it already was.

Bad Romance was the first single of the new addition, that features a catchy chorus, intense beats, and power vocals.

Another hit is titled Alejandro. It’s extremely reminiscent of Ace of Base, which apparently Gaga said she drew her inspiration from.

Personally, my favourite track is Speechless. Being one of her only ballads, it delivers a message of sadness but still a message of power. Seeing it performed live via TV (and in person in a week!), is and will be an incredible experience.

Many people doubted that Lady Gaga could recreate what she had done originally with The Fame, but she has more than proven that she is a consistent driving force in today’s music scene.

Please Go Away.

Jon Gosselin

Worst Dressed “Celebrity”

Dita Darling.

Dita Von Teese

Best Dressed Celebrity

$$$

You know those people who bedazzle their phones? Imagine if they were millionaires, and instead of a few stickers from Michael’s, they used 1,800 diamonds. This is what we call living in excess.

Price: $80,ooo

Vertu, a section of Nokia, say that it took expert craftsmen with three years of training to learn to make their phones. The Vertu Signature, contains 943 diamonds on its base and 48 more on its keypad.

Price: $310,000

Parisian jeweler House of Bucheron worked with Vertu on this limited-edition series of eight cobra phones, which include a two-carat pear-cut diamond, a one-carat round diamond, two emerald eyes and 439 rubies totaling 21 carats.

Price: 1.45 million

Guinness World Records awarded this GoldVish phone as the most expensive in the world. Made out of 18-carat white gold and features 1,800 diamonds totaling 120 carats, it was bought by a Russian businessman for his wife last September at a luxury goods fair in Cannes, France.

Oh Paula…

The only sensible thing I can say about this mess is that she was high on sleeping pills when she dressed herself. Somnambulating is a serious side effect of Ambien, Paula. STAY AWAY. Seriously, you look like some hot tranny bourgeoisie mess. Just because you’re wearing an undulating top does NOT mean it hides the fact that you are way too old to be dressing like Miley Cyrus. But trust me, even she is much more callipygian than you are.

Now you’ve made me cantankerous. Thanks a lot.

Aaaannd this week in news:

MTV has announced this week that they are to cancel “It’s On with Alexa Chung”.

Surprisingly enough, *NSYNC’s “No Strings Attached” Album was named the biggest seller of the decade.

Lame Playmate Kendra Wilkinson and Hank “I wasn’t famous before I impregnated this chick” Baskett had their first child this week, a 9lb. baby boy named… wait for it… Hank Baskett IV.

Men’s Health Magazine has some explaining to do after this SNAFU with Taylor Lautner on the cover.

The Gyllenhaal siblings are back to being super freaking cute after both appearing on Sesame Street.

Oh look, Bill O’Reilly being an idiot. Yet again.

Your Royal Cyrusness.

Seriously, WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS GIRL?!

THIS IS WHAT SHE WORE TO PERFORM FOR THE QUEEN:

In her defense, this is probably what she considers “formal attire”.

You Red My Mind

Red things that make me happy:

You My Boy, Blue!

Dearest Blue,

I can still remember the first time that I saw you. You were hanging from the accessories rack at Topman in Barcelona. I spotted you from across the room and couldn’t stop staring, and neither could you. I knew that I had to have you.

Since our initial meeting in the summer of ’09, you and I have been through a lot together. We have definitely seen our fair share of long days and even longer nights. I can not thank you enough for completing me, and my outfits. I may sometimes overuse you, but you are always there and ready to go.

I Love You Blue,

Myles Joseph Hasnain (aka Your Biggest Fan)

Going Down.

Do you know what really pisses me off? When people take the elevator ONE FLOOR. This usually happens when I’m late for class and need to get to the 7th floor, and some idiot gets on with me and presses “2″. REALLY?! You can’t walk ONE FLIGHT of stairs? I don’t think it’s because you physically can’t do it, I honestly think you are just way too lazy.

So here’s my advice, next time you think of being carried one floor up or down, don’t. You save me time, you looking like an asshole, and possibly escaping a black eye.

Thankyou.